Kokoroshitsuji
by PotatoChanMB
Summary: The demon knew the contract wouldn't be a easy one but he didn't expect it to completely change him...Meanwhile the contracted one is in a fragile state, trying to escape his choice and staying strong despite everything. The contracts path will be revealed once they open up their Hearts.
1. Prologue

**For everyone who has read my Demon with a growing Heart, hi this is the new series I was talking about! :D**

 **It goes similar to Demon with a growing Heart but the major difference is that Sebastian is in something that I call, 'stage one'. That's because this book is set in the first year of the contract. It begins after The Kuroshitsuji Atlantic movie's ending of the cinematic record. Although that's the only connection this book has to the original, after that point it's my OOC AU!**

 **If you want to know more about my OOC AU, my vision, you can read my bio. :3**

 **Few Facts!  
The Demons' have their own language, **_**Creepy whispering sounds sending shivers down your spine!**_

 **They also have powerful magic of shadows, darkness, levitation and a few other tricks.  
Ciel loves trains and the colour blue, how fitting that his favourite childhood toy is his 'Blue Chuu-Chuu Train'.**

Kokoroshitsuji

Prologue

 _After the ceremony of the earned Earl Phantomhive title was done and the talk they recently had at the rebuild mansion both Earl and butler were in their rooms, thinking about the situations in life that has happened, is currently happening and wondering about what lies beyond the horizon that is the future, their future…._

 _He was sitting on the bed with a photo held tightly in hands, a photo radiating happiness and warmth. The photo was depicting a couple with their child and family dog, everyone was smiling and filled with glee. Alas, all of that is now gone, the only one left is he, the child, and he's far away from gleeful while smiling with such radiating happiness he no longer can do._

" _Are you proud of me?" His voice, faint and shaky whispered, grip on the photo tightening._

 _He looked at the happy couple, his parents, and then at his father's ring, the same ring now on his thumb._

" _Do I even deserve this ring? Our family heirloom?" He whispered once again, glancing towards his thumb, something wet and salty slowly raining down his cheeks and then landing on the floor._

" _I-I...I'm trying to stay strong. To redeem our family name and find the ones who wanted to end the Phantomhives…" The wet and salty rain became more intense._

" _B-B-But I'm scared! I don't feel safe….I'm not sure I should have agreed to the contract b-but no one came to save me...I was alone and cold!" A more louder whisper came out as he reached out his hand to rub at the rain._

" _Did I make a mistake? If I denied him...would…..would I be with you then?" He squeaked out, while coughing a few times and rubbing at his eyes. After a few minutes of coughing and rubbing he felt slightly calmer._

" _I will continue to stay strong, I won't show him_ _this_ _side of me. I AM the head of The Phantomhive Nobility." He, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, said with determination and then gently put the photo on his bedside table. After a final glance at the photo he locked away all his emotions and planned to find his contracted demon, his butler, Sebastian._


	2. Chapter 1

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 1

It was still slightly chilly outside but soon it would become warmer, the weather was slowly changing by the days and weeks that went by. Despite the change today was a rather cold day and not many were out but one of the few that were out was a person not bothered by any weather at all and he was in deep thought.

That person was not human, a demon in fact, that's what he was. A demon stuck in the role of a butler, well, stuck isn't exactly the right word since he _choose_ this himself. He simply sensed strong negativity and that was what summoned him to his new little Master. A young boy by the age of 10, the official Earl of Phantomhive starting from today and the Earl, his young Master, was the reason for his thoughts.

The demon, named Sebastian by his Master, was unsure if fulfilling this contract would be an easy task since to get the perfect meal a lot of time and patience would be needed to put into it, one wrong step could lead to his meal falling down and getting smashed….

...A human, especially a child still depended on older people needs a lot of things to survive, food, water, hygiene, sleep and millions of other things!

This is the reason why Sebastian was unsure about if he has the patience to nurture such a fragile creature into a delicious meal.

Aimlessly walking around the mansion he now stood in the Phantomhive Graveyard, of all the places.

"Hmm...interesting that humans would choose to have dead energy so close to the place of the living." Sebastian mumbled and walked towards his young Master's stone, amused that the graveyard was placed rather close to the mansion.

He leende closer towards it and slightly drummed his hand against the stone and then let out a cold chuckle.

"I'll make sure that this does not happen to my young Master for real...not until the end of our deal, whenever it might be." He whispered, eyes slightly glowing and turning cat-like.

"OY! Sebastian! what are you doing here?!" He heard the voice of his young Master saying loudly, actually starling him a bit but of course, he did not let it show. Sebastian simply stood up and turned around with a smile.

"I was merely walking around and checking the surroundings." He answered and then took out his pocket watch to check the time.

"Ah, it's been some time since you've eaten so I'll go and prepare something….edible.." Sebastian then said and headed towards the mansion to prepare something to eat.

"Can't have you perish when I've just begun…" He whispered to himself with yet another cold chuckle while thinking about what to bake, young Master still standing on the same spot.


	3. Chapter 2

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 2

A cold and eerie wind swooshed by but he was not bothered by it and simply stood on the same spot, unmoved. Another stronger gust of wind followed after but once again he didn't care since he was in deep thought, wondering about why his butler would be _here_ of all places.

Yes, Ciel Phantomhive did not understand why _here_ but he didn't have to think long since it was kind of obvious. His butler, that _demon_ , probably enjoyed seeing all those stones, especially the empty one, the one that he a few minutes ago stood in front of, the one with his name on it.

Ciel walked closer towards said stone and stared at it and the ones close to it, the ones that were not empty.

Once again he stood unmoved while the wind continued to swoosh around, still so cold.

 _...Cold..._

He continued staring at those stones, all alone while the winds cold gusts made sounds, sounding like voices or more like a faint scream.

 _...Alone...Screaming…_

Suddenly the wind stopped and a crow flew down from a tree, swiftly diving down and then once again flying up to the tree, now a worm in its beak.

… _.Trapped…._

The crow eat its prey and then flew away, in search of yet another meal.

… _.Darkness….Emptiness…._

A loud thump could be heard as he suddenly collapsed upon the ground, tears streaming down his eyes, mind clouded by flashbacks.

He tried to calm down but to no avail as the tears continued to pour down followed by intense coughing.

 _...Fire...Burning blinding fire...Fear….Darkness…._

He closed his eyes and put his hands over his head in hopes that those memories would disappear.

… _.Cold and Alone….Echoing Screams…_

The flashbacks continued, looping over and over.

Ciel gave up on trying to free himself from those haunting visions, simply lying there on the ground, coughing while the waterfall of tears continued.

"Young Master?"

He thought that he heard someone but he was not sure if it was real or just in his head.

Ciel could feel that he was being lifted and that made him freeze, no coughing, flashbacks stopped then after the silence he let out a loud scream.

The sudden scream must have scared the holder since he felt like falling down but then he got quickly lifted again, which made Ciel panic. He was about to scream again but a hand was put over his forehead and after that he suddenly felt his eyes becoming heavy, making him fall asleep…..


	4. Chapter 3

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 3

Piercing pain in the head with vision blurred, he was unsure about where he was and memories about what happened were faint but then he suddenly remembered. Fear clouded his mind and he felt unsafe, the panic was back again. Vision still not clear he was about to let out a scream again to draw attention but with mouth barely open he felt a gloved hand on it. More panic came and that made his vision instantly cleared so he could see his surroundings.

The young Earl was in his dining room and the gloved hand belong to none other then...

"Sebastian….SEBASTIAN! What was that earlier?" Ciel, all panic gone and now replaced with irritation, pushed away that hand and was about to ask about what exactly happened but then he suddenly remembered the hand he felt on his forehead. The hand that made him doze out.

"I simply put you to sleep and brought you here so you could eat." Sebastian answered calmly, face expressionless.

"Simply put me to sleep?! You _simply_ shouldn't have scared me like that!" Ciel shoot back, not liking the idea of Sebastian doing that. He wondered if that _demon_ had already used that trick without him remembering.

"You were _scared_? Really, my Lord, with the way you acted I'd say the ones _underneath_ us were even more scared." Sebastian said with the same expressionless face but it was all in his tone and those demonic crimson eyes, that demon was mocking him and enjoying what he saw. His young Master in that fragile state with no control.

"Stop mocking me and give me the food, I didn't come to you for company." Ciel answered and glared into his butler, contracted eye letting out a slight spark beneath the eye-patch.

"Certainly, my Lord. Food is after all very important for the human body to survive." Sebastian said, eyes filled with his desired lust for some food of his own and that delicious meal was sitting right in front of him.

"I'll be back with food of the finest quality." And then he went away to get the food for the young Earl.

"I agreed to his offer. I have to stay strong, just think about how they all will suffer." Ciel mumbled silently to himself while taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. His tummy begun to rumble after some time but thankfully Sebastian came back with the food to soothe the sound. He took a few bites and, surprisingly, it was _really_ good, so was the tea. The meal was finished rather quickly and afterwords Ciel felt slightly tired so he decided to go to his room and Sebastian also went to his own room, after cleaning up the dishes.


	5. Chapter 4

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 4

A salty wet substance was slowly falling from his blue eye, like a oceans waterfall. Photo of warmth and serenity gently clenched in his hands, eye staring into it with lots of emotion. He deeply missed the care that he once felt in his heart, the feelings of safety and tranquil.

"...Why? Did someone forget to lock the doors...Or was a window open?" The little Earl mumbled in troubled thought, still not understanding how all of this could've happened. Another thing he wondered was how that demon was able to rebuild his home, even all the furniture! But he didn't think about that fact so often since he was actually happy Sebastian could do something like that. Yes, Sebastian could do many things...Even put someone to sleep by a simple touch to the forehead.

"...I really should stay away from those cursed hands…" Ciel said to the photo, fearing what more _simple_ things thoes demonic hands could do. Despite them actually not being here with him anymore, the photo clenched in his hands often helped Ciel to calm down and he felt at least a small fragment of warmth. Rubbing away the waterfall and taking a few deep breaths Ciel decided it would be a good idea to do something, something to cleanse his mind from his thoughts. After some silence he let out a rather loud laugh.

"...Maybe I should actually go to Sebastian for company." Ciel said, sounding slightly hysterical and laughed some more.

"Maybe he could even teach me that sleep trick!" Ciel put the photo away and instead took his pillow, pushing it into his face and laughing, voice muffled, while the waterfall poured down from the ocean once again. Ciel stayed like that for a while, tightly hugging the pillow filled with faint laughter as tears rapidly poured down.

 _Air._

Fresh _demon_ free air was what he wanted and away from his home filled with memories.

P _ast and Present._

Not exactly thinking Ciel just opened his door, pillow in hand, and ran as fast as he could.

 _Escape._

He continued to run until he stumbled upon a threshold, pillow dropped.

 _Pain._

Despite the stinging pain he quickly got up and continued to run even though he was already tired.

 _Determination._

Finally Ciel arrived at his destination, with no Sebastian near by to stop him.

 _Check Mate._


	6. Chapter 5

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 5

Black and feathery darkness got dipped into a small bottle filled with a dark liquid substance and then carefully with grace and smoothness the feathery darkness dipped in dark liquid was all over a piece of parchment, wich was also rather dark. All the darkness was a letter that Sebastian wrote to another demon fellow and the letter was certainly a unique one since the ink and paper were created by his shadowy powers with the feather from his very own crow wings. It might be hard to believe but some demons have a genuine friendship between them, yes, they still have a touch of rivalry where they show-off and brag about various things to see who's more powerful BUT they still care about each other and act almost….human when they talk about how fun it is to destroy then devour people with their soul energy. Yes it is truly a connection filled with happiness but still so dark and such a friendship is exactly what Sebastian or, _**Traehel**_ as his real name is, has and it's quite a strong bond he has with the fellow demon, _**Dneirfel.**_ When they get into a new contract a letter always comes explaining how the current facade is going but Sebastian hasn't had time to write such a letter for all the weeks that has past by he was busy perfection his facade of a butler to a young Earl by the age of 10…A rather annoying and picky child that needs so many things to survive, one tiny mistake could cost him his dinner after all. It was quite the tiring task and many times he just wanted to simply give up and get his meal before it was ready but he sensed the great potential the taste could have if it was nurtured and spiced up to maximum perfection. So Sebastian did his ultimate best to serve the young Earl until the very end….but it doesn't mean he has to actually care and be kind for the long road to the end yet he still can't help the feeling that taking care of that little one is making him the opposite of what he wants to be. Especially when the nightmares comes and he can NEVER forget that feeling when his contracted one officially become the Earl of Phantomhive today. Sebastian felt proud and successful, not in the way like he managed to actually teach his young Master anything, that was anyway there too, but the strongest feeling was that he now has a official status and future. What made it all worse was when the Earl's aunt saw him something 'like family' to his contracted one. He has no future and he's not suppose to have one and FAMILY is something Sebastian _never_ wants to be so that's why he decided to simply forget the nurturing and get his meal earlier but that plan failed and instead he got reminded of the reason why the nurturing was so important. All of those thoughts and worries he was now writing down to _**Dneirfel,**_ explaining everything in detail and expressing his fear of becoming a fragile softie and also asking for advice about how to _not_ become one.

'' _ **Yes, it's perfectly written, now fly away to Dneirfel…'''**_ He hissed out in his demon language and sent out a shadowy crow to deliver his letter. The shadowy crow was a special one since it was invisible with the letter for all humans and demons except fo _ **r Dneirfel**_ and himself. The crow had another unique feature which was that it would find its destination no matter where it was.

''... _ **Now I should probably also go for a calming flight to ease my mind.''**_ He hissed out again as he watched his shadowy projection fly away through the wall and beyond to wherever his friend was.

'' _ **...Before I know it it will surely be dinner time already so better to enjoy my free time while I can.''**_ With a sight the demon with the butler facade transformed into a larger than usual red-eyes crow and, just as his creation, flew through the wall and away to circle around the mansion in hope of easing his mind out of his thoughts…..

* * *

 **Yey! Sebastian got a friend!**

 **It's no OC, it's just someone that got changed into a caring, demonic, friend. :D**

 **Also here's a little fact about the demons!**

 **They have….interesting names and Demon Tribe's too!**

 _ **Traehel's**_ **and** _ **Dneirfel's**_ **is the** _ **Noitome-Tribe**_ , **it's one of the more friendlier ones BUT it has lots of powerful demons. :**


	7. Chapter 6

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 6

With speed a regular crow can only dream about to have, a large red-eyed one flew around The Phantomhive Mansion, aimlessly flying around in circles. That crow was none other than the demon butler of The Phantomhive Mansion, Sebastian or going by his true name, _**Traehel.**_ The reason for his flight was to clear his mind from his troubling thoughts about his current contract but it wasn't working so well since instead of clearing all he did was thinking, and it was even more than it was at his room. Sebastian became irritated and planned to get inside again to play on his beloved violin instead but all plans and thoughts got instantly erased when he saw his contracted one running towards a rather interesting place. He quickly possessed the eye-patch with his powers of darkness, instantly getting a shadowy cloud only visible to himself in front of him. That cloud made him able to see and hear everything fr0m the possessed somethings perspective, he could even use his magic on everything he sees and possess more somethings, switching between them trough his cloud. Cloud in front of him, Sebastian flew to a tree close to his contracted one's destination and sat down, hidden by some branches.

'' _Need to...escape….Coconut…''_ _ **The little Earl said as he walked towards Coconut, his loyal horse who was in the paddock munching on some grass. He was very tired from his run, feeling panicked and stressed from his thoughts. Everything was shaking and it was hard to keep the balance….**_

'' _Niiiiiieigehehehnyaiiieheheh!''_ _ **He fell down, scaring the horse and in it's fright it stomped around. He quickly got up and tried to comfort the scared animal.**_

'' _Calm down Coconut it's-!''_ _ **He closed his eyes as the hoof was about to hit his face...**_

'' _ **CALM DOWN YOU COWARDLY ANIMAL!''**_ A loud hissing voice was heard as he suddenly felt a cold mist that had a tiny touch of warmth surround him, protecting him from the scared Coconut. The little Earl decided to open his eyes to see what was going on but he instantly regretted doing so.

 _Silhouette of darkness, spreading fear and hate. Crimson nightmare….his nightmare._

''Sebastian?'' Ciel whispered out, surprised to see him here since he couldn't have missed him before. That demon would have instantly stopped him if he'd seen him running away.

Too caught up in his thoughts, Ciel became slightly startled when he looked up and saw those bright crimson eyes, staring right into his soul. Total silence with the only noise being Coconut once again eating the grass…..After some more silence the crimson eyes closed and took a deep breath, transforming into their human mask known as Sebastian the butler.

''It isn't good for the health to exercises after eating, My Lord. Let's go inside and relax.'' Sebastian said seriously, with no added comment or mocking face, surprising Ciel a lot since those things are the only thing the demon truly likes about his job, and they're not even real parts of said job! Before Ciel could say anything back Sebastian picked him up and carried him all the way to his playroom.

''There, now relax and play with your toys, My Little Lord.'' Sebastian said, sounding as if he was talking to a baby, eyes practically laughing. And there it was! His favourite parts, pretending to be a good butler with his words of fake care.

''Just be careful so the _horses_ …..don't attack you…..Do not scare them….'' He _wanted_ to obviously say it about the horse toys but instead he got all serious and meant Coconut and the others. Without saying anything else Sebastian simply left and headed back to his room, planning to write _another_ letter to his friend while Ciel stared at the spot were Sebastian stood, confused about what exactly happened in the paddock. How did he come so quickly and why did he act so serious as if he...truly cared?

… _.Sebastian…..care….._

Ciel let out a laugh at the ridiculous idea of Sebastian caring and simply looked at his beloved toys, that the demon was somehow able to re-make.


	8. Chapter 7

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 7,

Levitating through the door he slumped down upon the bed in his true form, tired of his current human mask, and gazed deeply into his contract hand.

" _ **This contract is dangerous….it's making me act to real…..I'm not suppose to actually care…"**_ Sebastian, or rather _**Traehel,**_ hissed out in irritation, not understanding what just happened, what was that feeling he felt for a few seconds….It was a burning and warm feeling that happened exactly when he let out his mist of protection, and it felt on, no _inside,_ the chest right were the human heart was….

" _ **How utterly pathetic and ridiculous! But….**_ I was… _.startled_ when I saw that hoof so close to my face, _his_ face."

He closed his eyes and tried to not think about what happened in the paddock and after.

After a while of thinking about what to say to spice up his meal to excellent quality of negativity he suddenly begun to feel something crawling on his face. Instantly opening his eyes the first thing the demon saw was a large shadowy spider holding a dark piece of parchment.

 _ **Traehel**_ quickly sat down on the bed with letter in hand, spider disappearing and it's shadowy energy going back to its creator.

" _ **Let's see now what Dneirfel's doing…"**_

The letter from his spider friend was filled with encouragement;

' _ **You are Traehel, the one who's considered to be one of the most powerful demons so naturally you perform your human facades with perfection and, seriously, it's a little baby! A 10 year old breaking you? I think you're simply tired and need a vacation, like I'm on now! It's so fun to destroy human relations simply by your presence….and magic, also a bonus you don't even have to have contact with the humans! Simply being invisible and enjoying the spectacle you've caused, ah such fun times we've had doing this together, we NEED to do it again sometime! Don't worry about your baby earl and simply remember who you are!**_

 _ **/Dneirfel.'**_

And like that the letter ended, text sharp written with his own spider leg.

" _ **Dneirfel...**_ maybe you're right…" Sebastian said with a relieved sigh and transformed back to human, feeling calm but then he suddenly felt stressed again remembering the paddock.

"No, like he wrote, I'm simply one hell of a perfection facade….Simply one hell of a butler, that right now needs to make edible food…" Sebastian said, looking at his watch, and then went away to prepare dinner.

 **First I wanted to tell you all how happy I am that you enjoy my story! :D**

 **Also, yes, Dneirfel is for friend! :)**

 **And Traehel is….heart, how fitting that Sebastian would have such a name! ;3**

 **Another thing….Yes, Dneirfel is Claude but a much more friendlier one! :**

 **I once just thought about how it would be if Claude and Sebastian were friends instead, and since that moment they're best of friends in my visions! :3**


	9. Chapter 8

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 8,

Tiny wooden horses running around, jumping over some, also rather tiny, trains. They jumped for quite some time but eventually got tired and all fell down, staring into their little owner with their painted eyes while the little owner lied down on the soft carpet that was green like grass, thinking about what happened today. His ceremony of the crowning as The Official Earl of Phantomhive and all those many times that demon has confused and made him scared today, more specific moments, that sleep trick and the paddock. _Especially_ the paddock.

''What was that mist and _how_ could he be there? Wouldn't he have stopped me sooner? I even fell down!'' The little Earl said in thought, remembering his failed plan and then instantly became panicked again since he realised that now Sebastian knows about his plans of escaping.

''Heh, maybe he didn't even realize what I was doing, he didn't mention anything about it after all.'' Ciel said and patted a horse, not truly believing what he said. After some more time of patting the wooden, Sebastian re-build, horse figures Ciel felt tired and slightly cold so he went away towards his room instead and lied down on the even softer bed instead, the comfy blankets warming him. It was quite the eventful day for the young Earl so he eventually fell asleep, dreaming a happy dream that Coconut got wings and together he and Ciel were aboard his beloved blue Chuu-Chuu Train heading towards a enchanted forest….


	10. Chapter 9

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 9,

It was around the time when most humans eat dinner or prepared too but in the Phantomhive Mansions the preparations weren't working at all since the butler couldn't do anything properly, to clouded by troubling thoughts he was. The demon butler felt that his current facade is draining his demonic nature, that he was taking his role as a butler to serious even for a perfectionist that at times can be a bit of a show-off. Yes, those thoughts were very irritating and he tried to calm himself by thinking instead about _**Dneirfel's**_ letter but he was simply to immersed in his thoughts so the only thing he did was chaos in the kitchen. Various burnt down meals were on the floor with some pots and other kitchen implements as company, broken windows and a few holes in the walls were also included. Currently he was simply heating up some water but he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing and had his hands in the pot, the steaming hot pot with his hands beginning to burn. Sebastian noticed nothing, not until he sensed a large amount of smoke...He looked down, suddenly remembering what must be his tenth attempt to make a meal. Sebastian quickly pulled away his hands from the water and picked up the steaming pot, not knowing what to do.

" _ **I'M PATHETIC!"**_ He suddenly hissed out, throwing the pot high and exploding it with his powers filled with anger, pieces of metal and water raining down on him.

"He's surely not even hungry, plotting how to escape his own home." Sebastian mumbled, eyes turning cat-like.

"It took quite the energy to build this quickly so better not to destroy this _perfection_." He mumbled out again, looking around the broken kitchen. With a snap of his fingers everything got back as he re-created it and after that he went towards the little Earl's room, sensing he would be there. Sebastian sensed right as the little one was sleeping peacefully, snug and warm with his blanket, a tiny smile on his face. Sebastian become irritated that all this time he was busy trying to do food for a sleeping person, a _smiling_ one.

"First you try to flee from the contract and now you're smiling...No, No this won't do, the young Master _must_ be reminded of his _choice,_ the _reason_ for it." He said with a cold and sinister smirk, going inside the child's dream.

" _ **Traehel can't be broken so easily….especially by a mere child...a Baby Earl!"**_ Was the last thing he hissed out…


	11. Chapter 10

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 10,

" _Chuu-Chuu! CHUU-CHUU! Come on Coconut join us!" Ciel said happily, enjoying the train ride. Coconut made a very loud neigh. Ciel laughed and hugged his horse._

" _You sound just as loud as Chuu-Chuu! Hehe...WOW! Look we're heading towards the forest." Ciel said loudly in excitement but all of that would soon change…._

" _CHUU-CHUU! CHUUUU-CHUUU! CHUUU-WAAAAAAH!" The little on continued with his train sounds but he got startled because the train begun to shake a lot and everything turned dark…and cold…._

 _But Ciel acted fast!_

" _Coconut! You're a strong flying horse so fly us all to safety!" Coconut gave a determined neigh and was about to lift the shaking Chuu-Chuu when something unexpected happened, Coconut lost his wings!_

 _A cold and sinister laughter could be heard and after that the train exploded and Coconut disappeared with a loud and worried neigh._

" _NOOOOOOOOO!" Ciel screamed loudly, tears falling down his eyes as he flew high into the sky, landing in the enchanted forest._

" _Coconut….Chuu-Chuu…" Ciel whispered silently, rubbing at his tears. A intensely cold wind was around him and thorned dark dead trees surrounded him like a cage. Ciel begun to panic and scream for help but nothing was heard no matter how hard he tried. The tears poured down nonstop as he tried to squeeze through the cracks of the thorny trees but to no avail, they simply became more tight, the thorns making him feel a stinging pain. Ciel eventually gave up and simply sat on the hard ground, shivering from the cold wind. After a while sitting there, alone and trapped, he heard someone coming! It was a tall hooded figure, laughing coldly. Ciel's eyes were filled with fear and he tried to once again shout for help while the figure laughed as once again no sound came. Somehow the hooded figure managed to come through the cracks and stood in from of Ciel and before the little one could try to scream once more, the hooded figure disappeared and instead on its place stood Vincent._

" _Father! You came to rescue me!" Ciel quickly stood up, voice back again, and was about to hug his father but he got roughly pushed down, landing with a hard and loud thump._

 _Ciel was shocked and looked up at his father, looking hurt with tears streaming down._

" _You're a disappointment! And you will NEVER be a proper EARL!" Vincent said loudly and then he burst into flames!_

" _Father! NOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME! I-I try my best! I-I want to be a successful E-earl! L-l-like you!" Ciel cried out._

" _NEVER! NEVER! YOU WILL NEVER BE A TRUE PHANTOMHIVE!" The Vincent in flames said louder, eyes glaring into Ciel with severe disappointment and then he exploded, laughing hooded figures surrounding Ciel._

" _No….No….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ciel let out a loud piercing scream and put his hands over his head, coughing and taking deep breaths, trying to block away the laughter. The hooded figures lifted him up and as they did so something in Ciel snapped._

" _SEBASTIAN!" He screamed the loudest he could, voice raspy and cracking from all the crying and coughing, startling the hooded figures and making them all go away._

"I'm here, my Lord! Calm down!" Ciel heard Sebastian say in a way he has never heard him before, filled with emotions of care….


	12. Chapter 11

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 11,

He felt a burning feeling in his chest, surprising him since he usually doesn't feel pain _inside,_ but he quickly ignored that feeling and his thoughts. Sebastian picked up the crying and coughing little one and sat down on the bed, holding him tight.

''...Sebastian is here.'' He said in a gentle voice and, noticing that Ciel was freezing, wrapped the blanket around him. He began to rock in a soothing motion, holding the panicked bundle even closer. Ciel was beginning to calm down a bit but he was still shaking and shivering.

''I'm he-here…'' Sebastian whispered, getting slightly startled when the little one took his hand and held it close, just like a plushie. _A contracted plush._

Sebastian closed his eyes and begun to make crow sounds, forming them into a lullaby, in hopes that the bundle would calm down some more. After finishing his song that he called, _The Crows Song of_ _Stillness,_ Sebastian opened his eyes and looked down too see if his lullaby worked. He was breathing calmly with just a few coughs and the tears stopped, just the remaining ones falling down. He was once again smiling, now using his plushie-hand as a pillow and Sebastian also smiled a genuine smile of warmness. They both stayed like that, with Sebastian gently rocking back and forth but he suddenly stopped, eyes filled with horror as he realized what he just did. He _wanted_ to get rid of that peaceful smile _not_ making it bigger and just why, what was he doing? That rocking, lullaby and the fact that he was _calming_ down his contracted one! Looking down at that smiling face he wanted to be disgusted but all he did was smile again, feeling actually _happy_ for some reason.

''Sebastian! Join us too! Chuu-Chuu!'' The smiling face mumbled, letting out a little laugh. Sebastian was speechless, now he was _inside_ that sickly sweet dream!

''Chuu-Chuu.'' Sebastian whispered, feeling intense burning inside his chest as something fell from his eyes. It was a black liquid substance, looking a lot like human tears. Sebastian begun to shake, slightly scaring the smiling bundle since he thought his Chuu-Chuu will explode again. Carefully as not to wake him, Sebastian put the sleeping little one back into bed and went away to his room, shaking with that burning feeling getting stronger as the black liquid slowly dripped down. He sat down in front of his desk and created a book, that become a glowing light instead of shadowy dark, but he noticed nothing as he began to write, black substance dripping down.

* * *

'' **Heart Growth'' can be dangerous since the demon will feel a lot of new feelings of warmness and kindness. Their heart will grow with a burn since it's fighting through the darkness inside the shadowy body, that darkness will pour down as tears. The demon will naturally be confused as those feelings are completely distant. Being in contracts with children is so far the only known cause of Heart Growth.**

… **.And the first one to grow one is Traehel, how fitting considering his name! ;3**


	13. Chapter 12

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 12,

' _This contract is breaking me, I'm losing all my power all because of that child. Is he really worth all this? OF COURSE HE IS THAT SOUL IS PERFECT! I just need to….spice it up some more and ignore that burning feeling, whatever it is I'm sure that's what causing my weak behaviour, maybe I should talk to him…..No, No!_ _**Dneirfel**_ , _can't know of this! He will surely just think I'm weak and pathetic, destined to live with humans forever. Children….Annoying Picky…..SMILING CHILDREN! Enough of this! I won't do anything unless he orders me! That's how the contracts work! Try to escape how much you want but it shall never work since you can't even ride properly! Ciel Phantomhive shall be a delicious meal, I shall nurture the darkness to ultimate perfection until THE END! And that end will be no sickly sweet dream, A Burning Cold EXPLODING NIGHTMARE!'_ The demon wrote down, feelings of burning gone and dark tears now as spots of darkness on the snow white paper.

''Really now, did I create this?'' Sebastian said, back to normal now, staring into his glowing light book with it's snow white paper. He wanted to create a new one, perhaps a dark purple one but for some reason he felt that he should keep this bright one.

''At least it has _some_ darkness.'' He mumbled out as he looked at those dark spots. He needed some relaxation so he grabbed his violin and flew outside the window, landing on the roof. Sebastian took of his watch and transformed into his true form. He begun to play while jumping around, flying some with his majestic black wings. He planned to continue on playing until he would feel the call of orders. Jumping extra high with wings flapping, he threw away the watch as the moon glowed brightly with stars shining bright. He would get it back later but for now he wanted to enjoy being a demon and not a butler.

'' _ **Tonight I am Traehel and only that, no**_ 'Sebastian'!'' The demon hissed out loudly as his violin made ear cutting ominous sounds.

'' _ **Also after this one meal I think I'd go on vacation. Dneirfel will surely like that.''**_ He hissed out silently, creating shadowy crows that flew around him as he continued dancing to his majestically ominous melody.


	14. Chapter 13

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 13,

He slowly opened his eyes, feeling a slight headache. It was hunger that made him wake up since he fell asleep before eating dinner and his sleep was….complicated. Ciel was confused if he really heard Sebastian or if it was in his dream but one thing he was clear of is that the demon came when called….A tiny part of him hoped that Sebastian came for real. The Earl was still a child after all, a child in need of comfort and guidance...

''Such foolish thoughts, I am only a meal to him and that's it.'' He said silently, letting out a laugh at the idea Sebastian being caring and saying 'Chuu-Chuu' with happiness.

''If it was actually the _real_ Sebastian he would probably just explode….and burn.'' Ciel said and then suddenly the words his father said in his dream begun to echo in his head. He looked at his thumb where the family ring was, reflecting on the dream. The words echoed louder and louder, looping more faster.

 _NEVER….NEVER...NEVER...NEVER! DISAPPOINTMENT! DISAPPOINTMENT! NEVER A PROPER EARL! YOU WILL NEVER BE A TRUE PHANTOMHIVE!_

''Father...Mother...please forgive me.'' Ciel whispered and hugged his pillow close, trembling with headache intensifying. He regrets agreeing to the contract, that he summoned that _creature_.

''...I...I REALLY DON'T DESERVE TO BE THE EARL!'' He screamed out louder than his echos and took of the ring, throwing it away. Away from his finger of disappointment. Ciel took a few deep breaths and then put his head on the pillow, crying as the echoes disappeared. He was tired of his dreams and thoughts. He was tired of seeing and hearing that creature of nightmares.

''I don't care if he sees me...I just need to be fast...and not scare Coconut..'' Ciel whispered through sobs and carefully walked all the way to the stables. He didn't fall down on any threshold this time and he managed to find the stables despite the darkness, the moon's glow helped a bit. Ciel walked towards Coconut but noticed that the noble horse was sleeping. Not wanting to wake him up Ciel took a deep breath and then run the fastest he could. He passed his Mansions gates and continued to run, tears running down as the moon got covered by some clouds, making this night a very dark one.


	15. Chapter 14

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 14,

Clouds clumping together in harmony, covering the light of the moon, now spilling their wet and loud tears. After some time the howling cold wind joined in, dripping and swooshing sounds echoing in the dark of the night. Most were inside in the warm and safety, sleeping or troubled by the loud weather but few were anyway outside in danger, two of them not even noticing the change. The one dark as the night was clearing his mind from his troubles while the one bright as the covered glowing moon and sky was overwhelmed by his thoughts, his mind not thinking clearly, clouded by emotions of panic. Having ran for quite some time now, feet weakened and vision unclear, the bright one fell upon a rather large branch. Woken up from his amiless run, he instantly looked around wondering where he was and why did he stop. All he could see was darkness, darkness in different shades.

….Blurry Darkness….

A more echoing gust of wind swooshed by, louder than before.

….Cold Laughter….

Frightened he once again looked around, the blurry darkness making the surroundings look like silhouettes of people, smiling ones. The bright one froze, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself. The smiling silhouettes moved, as if trying to reach him.

…..Getting Closer….Reaching Out…..

'''STAY AWAY FROM ME!'' He cried out loudly and threw a stick he saw at one of the silhouettes that in reality was a harmless tree, branches moving along the strong wind. The rain and wind intensified making the tree move even more, making the already frightened child more panicked.

The little one quickly stood up from the ground and once again begun to run but didn't get far since he again fell down, this time because of his foot that got hurt by the large branch. Frantically turning his head in all directions he noticed that he was trapped with harmless trees surrounding him but to the poor child they looked exactly like what the previous ones were.

….Nightmare Becoming Real…

Howling wind turning more ferocious, everything moving extremely fast with sounds sharp.

…...Complete Darkness….

Tired of his visions the bright one closed his eyes, tears streaming down as he tried to concentrate and calm down.

…..Sebastian….

The little one suddenly remembered the odd sounds the demon made, that strangely were actually comforting. He tried to remember them more clearly but he barely had the time to begin as a loud creaking sound was heard and he felt the ground shake. Opening his eyes he saw something laying down close to him, one of the trees fell down from the harsh wind, but before he had the chance to react more of the surrounding trees crashed down, nearly squishing him as he got trapped inside. Shocked by what happened he was completely frozen, having troubles to breath as the trees closed him in, moving more closer and tighter, locking away the air.

''...Se...Seb...Sebas…..'' He tried to call out for help but to no avail so he simply lied there under the trees, right eye giving out a faint purple glow while the weather calmed down, moon once again shining brightly as the clouds slowly flew away.


	16. Chapter 15

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 15,

'' _ **What is a butler? No one knows! But that's surely not me! I'm simply one hell of a dem0n, THE POWERFUL TRAEHEL!''**_ The creature of darkness sang random words to his violin melodies while he stood on the roof, focusing on the music he created, completely oblivious to the loud sounds around him.

'' _ **Burning feeling? No, no, no, no such feelings except when you're literally in….in…..BURNING FLAMES SITTING IN FIRE!''**_ He began to sing but got irritated at the end so his singing turned to loud hissing screams instead while melody got stuck on a piercing note, violin stick breaking by the hard force of it with it's pieces flying away by the fierce wind. Only now he noticed the wind and that he was soaking wet. With a deep sigh he flew down and focused on that Phantomhive Watch then dragged it towards him from wherever he threw it. He then went inside the Mansion and transformed into 'Sebastian', watch on it's usual place and wet violin in hand. Sebastian knew that he probably shouldn't get to used to using his demon tricks in case anyone would notice but right now he didn't care about anything so he levitated up through the ceiling and right into his room. He put his beloved instrument inside his closet and then sat down in front of his desk, glancing towards that bright book.

''Ah, I really made a big fail didn't I? Giving comfort after my personal nightmare.'' Sebastian mumbled, feeling not like his usual self. With his newest contracted one he has experienced quite the changes in his personality. He was becoming more unsure, less confident and always surprised or...taking his facade of perfection too-much. Sebastian heard how the wind became more wilder and then got a idea.

''Let's see if the little... _Baby Earl_ is asleep with this scary whether or not.'' And like that he walked to the young Master's room and when entering he sensed something was wrong...or rather missing. His contracted one wasn't here and, interesting enough, that precious Phantomhive ring was on the ground, broken in pieces. He walked towards the pieces and put them inside his pocket, wondering where his contracted one was. Sebastian didn't have to wonder long since he quickly came to a conclusion;

While he was distracted with his melodies his contracted one must have ran away, _fleeing_ from the contract, trying to _break_ it….exactly like the demon himself tried to do after the ceremony…

Despite having done the same thing the demon became extremely angered and his anger became stronger when he saw the family portrait.

''You shall never have those _positive_ feelings again.'' He whispered darkly and walked closer twords that portrait.

''Forget _everything_ , lock it away and _accept_ your faith…..You….are... _nothing…_.Nothing but a _meal_ …..'' He whispered more loudly as he stared into that happy child with those big deep blue eyes.

''...You…...You….YOU WILL _NEVER_ FIND _ANY_ HAPPINESS! SO LOCK AWAY YOUR _PATHETIC DREAMS!''_ He shouted loudly as a extremely loud and strong wind swooshed by and he could hear trees falling down.

After that there was complete silence, the rain disappearing and wind calmed down.

Sebastian suddenly begun to shake, finding it hard to keep his balance so he quickly sat down as the shaking became more powerful. Then a sharp piercing flaming pain came in his chest, stronger than the previous ones. He put his hand over the left side of the chest, were the pain was the strongest, and after he did so he felt something stinging coming out of his eyes, dripping down on his other hand. It was the same black liquid tear like substance as earlier, falling down and making black spots as it fell on his hand.

''Why does this keep happening?'' Sebastian whispered, not understanding this new feeling.

''And this….It can't be tears….it's not possible...No...matter...what pain I'm...in…'' Sebastian stared at his hand in confusion and winced in pain as it felt like something was eating him inside. He closed his eyes and tried to block away the pain, it seemed to actually work until he felt yet another burning pain. It was his contracted one calling and Sebastian sensed that his young Master was in great danger. Having no thoughts in his mind and pain getting instantly blocked away, Sebastian automatically stood up and quickly rushed towards wherever the little one was, focusing all his energy on his scent.

* * *

 **Made A Picture For This Book! :D**


	17. Chapter 16

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 16,

 _Ciel Phantomhive_

The name of a little ten your old, a train and chess loving Earl. He was a rather happy child, often sick, but the glow of positivity never turned to despair, not until that cursed birthday..

 _Soundless Night_

As the lost child lied down trapped under the fallen trees he reflected upon his life, how much it changed so fast…..

 _Learning was Fun!_

He remembers how much he actually loved and enjoyed his lessons since they were a step closer to a proper Earl, his dream of the past; To be just like Mother and Father!

Now he doesn't care about a single thing because what's the point? What's the point when _in the end_ all that will be is _nothing._

 _Dying Hope_

A few tears formed around Ciel's different coloured eyes, if you can even call the _right_ one a eye. He knew that it was probably a mistake to make that deal and now he's not even sure if it really was for revenge or the past dream.

 _Empty Dream_

The tears fell down as more formed while Ciel thought about his ceremony. How actually _happy_ he felt but then quickly felt empty just as his achievement. _Everything_ is lost and _useless_ , the only thing left is to _revenge_ and _despair._ Ciel didn't feel like he deserved the title 'Earl of Phantomhive', that ring and title didn't belong to him, especially when the ring didn't even fit…

 _Never Ending Thoughts_

Ciel's memorise overwhelmed, piercing through his mind and right into his soul. All the positive and negative at once, looping and echoing.

It was too much, Ciel couldn't take it anymore, he has had enough of thoughts, they even come in his dreams! He tried to get up from the ground and push away the trees but the moment he put pressure on his hurt foot he instantly fell down once again.

 _Is This The End?_

The sudden movement made the trees fall quicker and they would all crush down on the little child, there would be no escape.

It felt as if time stopped for Ciel as he stared at the trees, so close so he only needed to lift his hand a little bit to reach them. No fear and no panic, he only smiled with tears in his eyes as he stared at the giant wood pieces.

 _Goodbye My Mistake!_

" _Mother_ …. _Father_...I'm…..I'M COMING TO YOU!" Ciel shouted and he could feel a warm mist surrounding him and lifting him up but he suddenly fell down onto the ground again and he could hear the trees doing the same. Ciel felt being lifted up from the ground and then he was in a tight embrace, that felt slightly cold yet it was still comforting.

"You…have much more to live, my little lord. So let's fulfil the family dream….You becoming the proper and successful Earl." Ciel heard the voice of Sebastian whispering into his ear and something wet falling down, it felt just as rain or even….tears. Speechless and not truly understand nor believing what was happening, Ciel closed his eyes thinking this whole night was another part of his dream.


	18. Chapter 17

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 17,

The night was turning to morning as the sun began to slowly rise up with it's shining glow of warmth while a certain demon's body begun to rise into change, a tiny bit of light gleaming in the dark.

… _.Burning Light…_

He tried to ignore the burning pain returning once again, for he must hurry to his contracted one, but it was all to no avail as the pain became stronger, weakening his powers. Suddenly an idea came to rest a bit but as suddenly as it came it instantly disappeared.

"What kind of butler rest when his young Master is in danger?" Sebastian whispered out and continued to run.

" _ **I am Traehel….nothing will stop me…...ESPECIALLY THIS BURNING FEELING!"**_ He hissed out with determination and whipped away the black tears falling from his eyes. Sebastian added extra speed from the little power he had left but as he did that the burning feeling intensified, making him lose his balance and stumble upon a boulder, Phantomhive Ring pieces falling from his pocket.

" _ **...Useless failure…"**_ He hissed out in irritation and glanced at the fallen pieces. They were shining brightly but not from the sun, it was energy. A strong power filled with a shared dream, he could sense the memories within the ring….

' _When you become older this ring will go over to you, a symbol of The_ _Phantomhive Earl.'_

' _Hehehehe! I'll be the_ _best_ _Chuu-Chuu Phantomhive Earl! I'll make you both_ _proud_ _!'_

' _We are already proud, Ciel! You're growing into a truly_ _successful_ _little gentleman, a proper_ _Earl_ _just like your Father! And today you've grown even more as it's your_ _tenth_ _birthday!'_

' _Indeed, you make us_ _proud_ _for every year and day that goes by. Hmm….actually, Ciel, since ten is quite the year you can wear the ring for today.'_

' _Yey! Birthday Bonus! I'll be very careful with it! He Hehehehe….Earl Ciel Chuu-Chuu Phantomhive! Chuu-Chuu Earl! Chuu-Chuu Earl!'_

The memory continued but a different direction, the complete opposite….

 _Sadness...Fear...Lonely and Cold...A silent scream for help….any help…._

' _...Mother…..Father….save me….No, there is no hope. Everything is lost...I have nothing...BUT MY FEELING OF_ _HATE!_ _EVERYONE SHALL HAVE THEIR_ _REVENGE!_ _I'll make_ _them_ _even more_ _proud_ _of me!'_

Then the _help_ came, a creature seeking only humans lost in the depth of despair to corrupt them even further all for a meal and pleasure. The beast had no limits, even children were nothing but mere food, they were even more pleasure in a way for a child's mind is more fragile after all…

' _Even if this will be a mistake there is no turning back now, I'll have to be strong….have my revenge for those who made me weak and helpless….I'll make you both_ _truly proud…._ _I promise, I won't give up….'_

Chest burning a light warmth could not bare to sense all those memories, to hear how happy the contracted one once was and to see what a monster he himself truly was.

"...My...young...Master? The….things...the emotions….he's been...through...and me?" The burning feeling turned to a blazing piercing pain on fire and it became worse when the ring's energy went inside his body, the bright positivity and all the various emotions.

"...I'm a monster…" He whispered, black tears stinging as they fell, it was all too much, his pain and the ring's power. He began to cough then threw up with a shrill hiss a liquid identical to his tears, the pain in his chest vanished.

* * *

 **I have written up to chapter 21 currently thinking on how to continue with 22 but I think it's hard to post the chapters I have, I'm simply not feeling so great lately. But now I actually posted chapter 17! :D**

 **Another thing, I often get mixed feelings with my vision because I feel it's quite different from the original story but I still do like my 'OOC AU' view. It's hard to explain but at times I simply feel strange with my story.**

 **Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the adventure of Sebastian's/** _ **Traehel's**_ **heart growth! Thanks for reading my story! :3**


	19. Chapter 18

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 18,

There was a calm silence as the new day has begun, sun shining bright with no dark clouds to shadow over its warmness, rays of light smiling upon the darkness filled with brightness from pieces of a broken dream.

 _Memories Of The Past_

As the darkness rushed to where he is now, the pieces revealed more memories, filling him with the mixed energy. Never did it stop, nor did the darkness no matter how many times he fell down on his run, even now when destination is reached the memories continued to echo.

 _Sooth Your Pain_

"...I...I'll do anything I can to make you happy again and make sure your drea-" The darkness, Sebastian, begun to gently say, at that time truly meaning what he was about to say, but he got quickly interrupted as his contracted one hastily pushed him away.

"This isn't a dream?!" He mumbled silently in disbelief, voice shaking.

" _ **Poor child….can't even believe he can be happy!"**_ Sebastian hissed out silently with a genuine sad expression.

Ciel tried to understand what is going on with that demon, who now took out something from his pocket and held it closed in his hands then he gently grabbed Ciel's left hand, carefully putting on something on his thumb, making the echos stop.

 _New Memories_

"There, now it's where it should be. I know how important this ring is so you should be careful with your birthday present." Sebastian let out a warm chuckle and looked right at his young Master, smiling with care but that quickly turned to worry as he noticed Ciel begun to shake.

"...Young Master?"

Ciel stared down at the ring, tears beginning to form in his eyes, then he looked back at Sebastian, it was the first time he noticed how much he resembles _him._

Taking deep, slightly hysterical breaths, Ciel tried to calm himself but to no avail, it was all to much. His _happy_ birthday and what followed, his constant nightmares, regrets of the contract, getting stuck under those logs and now realising _that demon_ looks so much like the person lost forever and his behaviour right now, is this a new way to taunt him, _his soul,_ further into despair?

Tears endlessly falling down, Ciel's deep breaths turned to loud hysterical laughter, the burning light inside the demon becoming panicked.

"Young, Master! calm down...let's just go ho-" The burning light tried to calm down the child but he wasn't heard as the poor emotionally overloaded Earl begun to roll around on the grass. Black tears once again begun to fall as he became extremely panicked, not knowing what to do and the intense burning feeling in the chest that decide to join in the stinging tears helped nothing at all.

"...Young Master….My Lord….Eh... _ **Annoying Earl…Human Child...Baby Earl?**_ " Sebastian, completely controlled by the light inside now, tried in any way he could to get the little ones attention, even in his demon language.

"...Ciel!" Sebastian then said, surprising both himself and his young Master. It was the first time he called his contracted one by name and probably something he shouldn't have done right now..

...If you look up you can see Ciel, at times bright blue, other times more of a purple hue and sometimes a vibrant orange. Ciel changes many times a day and a few good friends are the clouds and stars. The French word for sky, that's his name. Ciel often loved to look at the sky and think that's his name, his sky, his giant Mansion, but right now when lying on the rather cold grass he feels nothing but emptiness and he wonders how _dare_ that _demon_ use his name. That name is only to be used by the ones not alive anymore….and no matter what they will _never_ return….


	20. Chapter 19

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 19,

His name echoed in his mind, filled with happy memories of the times his name has been used but now it's no more. Ciel got drained away by the scorching flames on that _happy_ day then from the empty ashes new energy was filled, _painful burning energy,_ and then reborn he was with a new purpose in live. Y _oung Master_ , that was his new name and the purpose to destroy and revenge.

 _Make Them Proud…._

Ciel noticed little but he once again begun to roll around, crying loudly and shouting how much of a failure Earl he is. He felt a hand softly on his tummy, stopping him from rolling around. Ciel looked up and was met with a expression of mixed emotions.

There was sadness and lots of panic, eyes usually a brighter red now more faint filled with care. How strange it might sound, the young Earl begun to calm down, taking deep breaths mixed with laughter and coughs. Ciel closed his eyes but instantly opened them up again when he felt something wet dripping down onto his tummy. It was something similar to tears but they were black coming from Sebastian, who had his other hand put over the left side of his chest. It was blazing extremely painfully again, the energy given by the ring still inside the shadowy darkness of his body. It was hard to keep balance so he put his hands on the grass, taking deep breaths as the black tears became bigger in size, falling down on the grass and poisoning it.

''Se..Sebastian?'' Ciel said shakingly, afraid of what was going on with that demon. Hearing the name given by his contracted one made his eyes suddenly whiden in horror as the demon realized what exactly he's been doing this whole time. A flaming fire was inside his eyes, now blazing a brighter red than ever. Eyes piercing into the soul of his contracted one the demon let out a cold laugh, transforming into his one and only _true_ self, influences of the burning light inside extinguished.


	21. Chapter 20

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 20,

A sinister darkness once again returned, shadowing over the tiny bit of light growing inside. Now there was nothing but burning poison inside, it was a pleasant kind of burn that the demon had not felt for quite some time and only now he realised that a part of him was missing. He suddenly jumped up and spread out his giant majestic wings, long spiky hair flowing along the wing created wind.

'' _ **Ah, it's soooo EXCELLENT to feel like myself once again!''**_ The demon hissed out with a loud echoing laugh, no more shall this contract brake him for he finally truly remembers who he is.

'' _ **I am Traehel, one of the most powerful demons! Dneirfel my friend, I thank you for your letter.''**_ He hissed out loudly with his echoing voice then mumbled a thanks to his best friend for his support.

He continued to admire his true self and all the power he had but his praise train got interrupted by a whimpering sound coming from the ground. Suddenly remembering about his contracted one, _**Traehel**_ gracefully flew down and landed in front of the child, bright red eyes glaring down with a malicious smirk, revealing his sharp teeth.

 _...Fear….and Sorrow…_

''Now, Now, _My Little Lord_ , lying on the grass like this is hardly how a _proper Earl_ should act, and all the _emotions_! No, no, this is _unacceptable_!'' The demon said using his Sebastian voice. After that there was complete silence, surprising and annoying the demon since he wanted a reaction. Instead all he got was a glance filled with panic and sadness as tears slowly dripped down to the grass.

… _.Hurt and Panicked…._

There was very strong emotions radiating from the child's soul but one in particular pierced right into the demon's senses, blocking all the others.

 _...Feelings of Betrayal…_

A part of the child found calmness and safety in the way the demon tried to comfort him, how it all seemed so genuine, but now it was crushed into betrayal that he himself didn't understand why he felt, it should have been obvious that the demon simply found a new way to steer him into despair...even if his comfort truly felt real…

... _Bright Light…_

 _ **Traehel's**_ eyes begun to dim their brightness as he truly looked at his contracted one. His small hand was put over his mouth while he laid still as the trees around them, afraid to make a move or sound. The demon kneeled down, thoughts of comfort entering his mind, but he fiercely shook his head when realization came what he was about to do...again. The demon only now realised the reason for why his contracted one was in the forest and that brought back the thoughts he had before his search.

…. _Darkness Eternal..._

"Tell me, child, _why_ did you agree to make the contract?" He asked with a hissing whisper, eyes glaring into the right eye.

Whiteout waiting for an answer he continued;

"No matter your _reason_ our deal has already been sealed, there is no _escaping_ so quit your _regret_! Your pathetic _dreams_ of _perfect Earl_ are _DEAD!"_ He continued in the same hissing voice, turning into a loud echo at the end. Ciel said nothing, he only stared at his ring and then closed his eyes, taking deep breaths and whipping away his last tears. After a while with answer decided he whispered something into the ring and gently stroked it's smooth surface then he once again opened his eyes and glared into the demon's bright crimson ones, blocking away all fear and the rest of his emotions for the demon was right. _Everything_ was lost on that day, no matter how much you _dream_ there is no taking it back and you can not undo the _move_ you've done. The only thing he now can do is make the right _move,_ the ultimate move that checkmate _everyone_ , including _himself_.

… _.Shadowed Heart…._

"That implies you too, _demon_. Don't you _dare_ taking your _dessert_ until I've had my revenge, that's an _order!_ " Ciel said still lying on the grass with contract eye glowing brightly, voice slightly cracking and faint from all the crying and coughing but it still held power. This surprised _**Traehel**_ but he was very pleased to hear and sense that his young Master truly locked away all his dreams and accepted the nightmare that's now his life.

"Yes, my Lord, until _the end."_ He answered with a bow, now once again his facade of Sebastian The Phantomhive Butler.


	22. Chapter 21

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 21,

While carrying his tired young Master back to the mansion he reflected upon everything that has happened lately, especially that burning feeling that actually made him feel pain and act in a, well, interesting way. All those ideas that entered his mind and how them all controlled him to act in such a way that would surely guarantee banishment from his tribe and removal of his title as one of the most powerful! The demon butler calmed down, relieved that none of that would happen, he really must thank his friend. Sebastian thought about all the contracts he and _**Dneirfel**_ made and those lovely vacations were they simply messed with the human minds, destroying their relations and making them miserable. Ah, such happy times! He also thought about all the names the contracted ones gave them, some of them were normal human ones while others made it very hard to try to explain why exactly they're named like that. Thankfully both of their contracts never last that long but for the first time the demon wouldn't mind if it took some time to end this one, it's the first time he's had such a young contracted one and a child's mind is after all easier to nurture into darkness. Yes, Ciel Phantomhive has lots of potential to become the most delicious meal he's ever had but he also has the most challenging facade of them all, one that can become all to real for as a butler he must take care of his master. There is also that fact that children are very fragile and needy so he's forced to always check on his young Master's well-being if he wants his meal to survive. Speaking of the meal part, Sebastian only now remembered that the child had no dinner, he also was probably dirty from the forest adventure. The butler planed to first give his young Master a bath then try to actually bake food this time and not literally destroy the kitchen, which should probably work smoothly considering his worries of the burning feeling are gone now. He shook his head remembering all those failed dinner attempts and opened the door, having arrived to his destination which was the Phantomhive Mansion. Sebastian put the young Master down on the floor, who instantly fell down when pressure was put on his hurt foot.

"Oh, I see the little Master got hurt playing outside. What a clumsy little _child!"_ Sebastian said with a amused chuckle, making mentioned child glare up at the creature.

"Quit your disgusting laughter and help me, _servant."_ Ciel shoot back at the demon, who instantly stopped laughing and stared down, eyes burning a bright red.

"Certainly, my Lord. Do you want the human way or _my_ way?" Sebastian asked but only received a confused expression, he let out a sigh and tried again.

"Your foot. It's bruised, shall I heal it the endless human way or make it quick with my magic?" He specified more clearer this time and he could see that the young Master understood. Ciel was a bit stuck, not sure which alternative was better. It's true that the human way might take some time until the foot's completely healed, and he'll probably just continue falling down at each attempt to walk, but he was afraid of what Sebastian might do _his way_ considering one of the things he can do is force sleep with a simple touch to the forehead. He just sat there on the floor, going through the two alternatives, making the demon impatient and annoyed. Sebastian was seriously considering to simply leave the child on the floor but thankfully he finally decided.

"Heal it quick." Ciel said and after that he was once again being carried, and then put down on a chair of the kitchen. Sebastian with eyes glowing bright, in deep concentration, put both of his hands on the foot, making a dark glow surround the bruised spot. This made Ciel regret his decision, how can this creature know anything that heals and makes people better? He was probably just cursing his foot right now! Ciel instantly pushed his foot away from those hands, the demon losing focus and in his shock sending waves of pain.

"YOU AND YOUR _CURSED MAGIC_!" Ciel screamed out loud in pain, feeling similar to the one that once consumed his right eye, and defensively put his hands on the spot now radiating with a stinging pain.

" _FOOLISH_ _CHILD!_ Don't interrupt the process!" The demon hissed back with an echoing voice, startling Ciel, and then he harshly pushed away the small hands and put back his own. Ciel stayed silent and simply watched as the dark glow returned, slowly turning lighter.

"... _ **Heal, no more...pain this time...Heal baby foot, no more pain...this time."**_ Sebastian suddenly began to whisper strange hissing sounds with eyes glowing even brighter than before. This made Ciel sure that his _process_ definitely is some kind of demon curse, becoming afraid he acted on instinct and was about to push Sebastian away with his other foot but he quickly caught it with one hand, the other one and his eyes still on the hurt one. Not letting go he continued with his healing ritual and when the dark glow turned to a light purple it finally finished, baby foot indeed with no more pain but Ciel noticed nothing for he had not slept properly and felt extremely exhausted from the forest adventure, so he simply went into a peaceful slumber. With foot healed and child asleep Sebastian carefully picked him up and went to his room, washing away the dirt and then tucking the young Master gently into bed.

"Now then, I'd better go and prepare something to eat." Sebastian said silently to himself and headed back towards the kitchen, the growing light inside letting out a tiny spark of brightness.

* * *

 **Your forest adventure was quite the tiring and emotional experience so sleep well and regain your energy, Ciel!...Also….Sebastian!? What feelings did you have when your spell failed? ;) ;)**

 **"If you're asking about if I felt a burning feeling or not then no. I even had no enjoyed that I caused pain. I only became irritated at the interruption since the only goal I had was what was asked of me: Heal Quick."**


	23. Chapter 22

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 22,

Dinner, that's more of a breakfast now, was at last properly prepared without breaking anything and most certainly edible or probably not so…

..The demon was very frustrated when baking so some of his emotions might have been dropped into the meal, poisoning it with his thoughts, but to him it was a meal of perfection and top quality. Well, when he goes to wake up the young Master the true taste shall be decided but right now he's busy writing a letter to his best friend. _**Traehel**_ and _**Dneirfel**_ , those two powerful _**Noitome-Tribe**_ demons really were more than just best friends. They can't even remember how and when they met, it simply was as if they've been always together their whole elternal live, masters of the shadowy dark magic and unstoppable with the despair making. _**Twin Brothers of Opposites,**_ that's how _**Traehel**_ and _**Dneirfel**_ were known among the tribes, and they completely agreed on both parts. They do indeed often see each other as brothers and twins they could be as well considering there wasn't that much of a difference in their endless demon age, _**Dneirfel's**_ only slightly older. _Opposites_ is another word that perfectly describes them considering how differently they act. _**Dneirfel**_ is more calmer and mostly keeps his thoughts to himself, even _**Traehel**_ has troubles at times knowing how he truly feels, and although like most demons perfection and power is _very_ important to him, he really doesn't bother that much with it, _**Dneirfel**_ just silently enjoys his hobbies of dancing and knitting spider webs. While _**Traehel**_ often becomes panicked and is exploding with various thoughts, at times even overwhelming _**Dneirfel,**_ constantly trying to achieve the ultimate perfection and forever keep his status as one of the most powerful, flying and violin music his escape from his worries. Writing out his troubles to _**Dneirfel**_ was another excellent way to cleanse his worries since he always has got good advice, and for _**Dneirfel**_ it was easier to express his feelings, also they both really liked exchanging those unique letters, wich _**Traehel**_ was now done writing;

' _ **Having a absolutely blissful time on your vacation, Dneirfel? Also don't forget to bring back a souvenir from your journey! Anyway, I'm not writing to get a souvenir, I wanted to thank you for your advice, as helpful as always. No more shall this 'Baby Earl' break me with his tasks of a butler for I truly know who I am! Master of facades, Traehel! I can survive this and then get energy that might be the most delicious so far!**_

 _ **DON'T FORGET THE SOUVENIR AND YOU CAN GET A PIECE OF….No, not the soul energy! A piece of a Traehel rebuild Mansion!**_

 _ **\\\Traehel.**_

" _ **Oh...I can't wait to get his answer…..and the souvenir! Now fly away to Dneirfel!"**_ He hissed silently to himself and sent away his letter with the invisible shadow crow then let out a exhausted sigh, the whole situation with the painful burning feeling and the rings energy had drained a lot of power from him.

"Better to forget all of this happened and for 'Sebastian' to go and wake up the little Earl, the fragile human body needs food after all." Sebastian mumbled and then quickly went towards the young Master's room.


	24. Chapter 23

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 23,

The deep blue eye once again had his glance fixated upon photo of warmth, having recently woken up from a peaceful dreamless sleep. While photo gently held in hands he thought back on what happened at the forest, how he now felt completely foolish. Showing any kind of emotion to _that_ really is _unacceptable_ , especially when he's making illusions of care and comfort. The deep blue eye shifted his gaze to the sapphire ring and then Sebastian's expression when he put it on appeared in his mind.

 _Smile of Care,_

 _Laugh of Warmth._

It reminded the young Earl so much of his last moments with his father, when the previous head of Phantomhive put on the _birthday bonus._

 _Memories of Joy._

Ciel smiled a sad smile as he closed his eyes, letting all the memories loose, enjoying the small fragments of happiness he had left but it didn't last long for he realised it was pointless to cling on something that was lost and would never return. Ciel gently put the photo on his bedside table and waved goodbye, deciding to go to the stables and play with Coconut instead. Before heading out he brought his left hand close and carefully stroked the smooth surface, whispering the exact some words he did at the forest;

" _Show me the right path….Guide me to the right decision….Help me survive this nightmare."_


	25. Chapter 24

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 24,

Coconut was in a calm slumber when Ciel arrived so he simply watched his friend sleep, whispering out his thoughts, feeling comfort by being close to the horse. He wondered how Coconut and the others survived but he wasn't sure if the fire stretched out to the stables as well, he was also aware of how cowardly horses can be so considering that they all probably ran away...while Sebastian was trying to protect everyone, his barks echoing in the flames. Ciel shook his head, trying to clear his mind from the flashbacks that came while also holding back the tears he felt were forming.

"It does nothing to dwell on the past when there is a goal in the present….To find the ones who wanted to end the _Phantomhives…"_ Ciel mumbled and looked deeply into the sapphire of the ring, thinking about all the Phantomhives that once wore it, how it only a few months ago still belonged to his father.

"I'm going to make you all _proud_ ….by _destroying_ the ones who _dared_ to mess with the _Phantomhives_ ….I'll make them _suffer_." The young Earl whispered, a sinister darkness growing inside with the purple source glowing brightly.

"Honestly, young Master, you just recently had quite the _fun_ in the forest, you can't possibly be thinking about leaving again." The voice of Sebastian suddenly said behind him, slightly startling him. Ciel instantly turned around and was met with a sickening smirk, of course the demon would see what happened in the forest as _fun._ Well, the demon is not the only one who can make _mockery_ out of that situation.

"Sebastian….could it really be that you _care?_ You don't have to _worry!_ I've had enough of fun…. _fun_ seeing you act just like a _human_." Ciel answered, staring right into the crimson eyes, a smirk of his own showing when he could see the demon react with a tiny shudder.

"Well, _My_ _Little_ _Lord,_ I'll continue with my _worry_ for you have perfectly shown me what a _child_ you are. Incapable of keeping your emotions in, simply letting them... _roll around."_ Sebastian shoot back, enjoying the irritation he felt building up inside of the young Earl.

"I'd say you showed me your incompetence as well. Oh, all the _expressions_ you had! Another thing..

….I would never guess a creature like you was capable of _tear_ s." Ciel let out a amused laugh when the demon completely froze up after his words. He simply stared at his hands and begun to completely shake then he suddenly let out a ominous echoing laugh, instantly stopping Ciel's. The demon afterwards kneeled down and looked up at his contracted one, eyes piercing right into his poisoned soul.

"Yes, _my Lord._ I promise you will _never_ witness such a behaviour from _me_ again, only in your _dreams_." The demon received a speechless expression as an answer, making him feel satisfaction for his victory of the mockery battle.

"Now then, it's about time for the young Master to eat." Sebastian then said seriously, the act of a butler turned on again, as if their previous conversation didn't happen.

"I'm not hungry." Ciel mumbled out, feeling no appetite while stomach craved to finally get some food. After a rather loud rumbling sound came he decided it would be better to eat or else that sound would only be a bother. So he went towards the dining room and waited for Sebastian to arrive with the food, which was then eaten in total silence.

"Did the tastes satisfy you, my Lord?" Sebastian asked when the young Master finished his meal.

"As empty like your attempts of being _human._ " Ciel answered, having truly felt nothing at all.

"Now don't come after me and let me be alone, I _order_ it." Ciel then added and went away towards his playroom, a room filled with soothing and happy memories.


	26. Chapter 25

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 25,

In a room with a carpet green as grass and walls a pastel blue the young Earl of Phantomhive was, surrounded by all sorts of toys. That room was the playroom, once filled with peaceful laughter and soothing happiness but now all that was left was the feeling of serenity. The bliss of the past was no more, now the playroom was a place to focus on thoughts….and a source of comfort. Currently the young Earl was using the horse figures to clear his mind through the playtime.

"How does it feel being empty inside, _My Little Lord?"_ He voiced a wooden horse with a Sebastian voice and made sure to make it sound extra annoying.

"Oh, that you should know yourself! You are an expert on emptiness!"

"And you are such a _faaaaaail,_ my looooooord! You will never become a true _Ea_ rl...and you have no need to booooother to try! Remember the cooooontraaaact!" The young Earl continued, getting absorbed in his thoughts, words coming automatically.

"Silence you _demon!_ You are a _fail_ as well!"

"Am I? I have a smaaaaaaart plaaaaan! To _break_ your _mind_ with my _illusions_! What's your plaaaaaaaan?"

"My...plan? I...I don't know…" Ciel stopped his playtime after that, in deep thought about how he even planed to do this. Memories of that time suddenly appeared in his mind...how his _saviour_ continued the _nightmare_. _Burned_ with yet another painful _mark_ …. _Trapped_ once more, the only way out is to _eliminate_ everything on the _board._

"My _plan_ ….Is to send you to _attack….destroy_ everyone who had a part in _this…._ checkmate the _king_ of that _fire_!" Ciel said loudly, voice dark with the purple eye glowing intensely while the blue one looked down in determination into the sapphire of the ring.

"I need _everyone_ to come back and _finish_ what they have begun...I have a _wonderful_ gift awaiting after all." Ciel said with a ominous laugh and a smirk not unlike the demon's, seed of darkness planted inside the child's soul.

* * *

 **The effect of having a demon as support has begun to show, his ways slowly infecting the child's inner light….Good luck changing this later...** _ **Traehel.**_


	27. Chapter 26

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 26,

Having cleaned up the dishes the demon butler was not sure about what to do. The next meal would only be needed after some hours and no bath was needed nor was it sleep time. So he decided upon a aimless walk around the mansion, which was filled with thoughts about the events that occured after the ceremony. _Burning Sunlight._

The demon looked up at the bright sunshine burning with its warm smile, his crimson eyes filled with disdain, It wasn't because of the sun but rather of what it made him think about.

 _Blazing Pain._

The demon put his hand over the left side of his chest and let out a slight shiver, thinking about the burning feeling infecting the darkness of his shadowy body….and in what way it controlled him.

 _Scorching Evil._

Relieved that the horrible feeling is finally extinguished the demon let out a amused chuckle, thinking about the entertaining spectacle his young Master showed, completely blocking away the moments of the reactions he responded with _then_.

"My Little, Little, Little Lord, dose your fragile _child_ mind truly _believe_ there is an _escape_ from your _choice_?" He whispered darkly and let out another chuckle, eyes no longer fixed on the light nor feet stuck in a aimless destination.

 _Flaming Death_.

Once again his walk paused at the same place as before, the graveyard, but the demon noticed nothing as he once again went towards the 'Ciel Phantomhive' stone. As he stared down at it his eyes reverted back to their natural state.

"The time can tick trough _years_ , I shall wait until the _end_." The demon whispered with eyes glowing brightly and imagined the delicious soul energy, a smirk crept up his face when he thought about all the ways he could spice up his meal...and how he must be careful to not allow it to fall.

 _Igniting_ _Poison._


	28. Chapter 27

Kokoroshitsuji

Chapter 27,

Blue eye gazed down upon the sapphire of the ring, gently stroking it's smooth surface. The birthday bonus that was once his only comfort in _that_ place. Ciel remembered how he used to whisper prayers of help, filled with _hope_ that someone would save him...that his parents would return. The child never stopped _believing_ , hugging the precious object close on those nights that were filled with screams...and lots of _red._ Sadly that comfort didn't last long, the family heirloom was in need of protection since eventually someone noticed it and talks about selling it began. He had _nothing_ so there was no place to put it in safety, the child could only think about one way to keep it away from those people. He _swallowed_ it.

''There is no _hope_...nor _help_ …'' Ciel whispered and closed his eyes as tears began to fall. He hated how images always flashed in his mind and the tears that followed, especially if it happened around that _demon_ ….just like in the _forest_. Ciel suddenly opened his eyes and desperately rubbed away the non stop tears, he would not allow his _emotions_ to control him. He once again closed his eyes and focused on forgetting _everything._ Lock it all away just like in a _cage_ and let it get consumed by _flames_ , _erased_ forever from his mind! While a sorrowful waterfall dripped down surround by hysterical laughs a memory of happiness softly flashed by, getting _burned_ like the rest from the _past._ The child let out a horrified gasp as he saw these images slowly burning up while his eyes automatically went to the direction of his beloved photo. It seemed as if _they_ were sad, eyes filled with _disapproval_ and _disappointment_ at the _failure_ they saw.

''...No...I...please... _forgive_ me..I..I'' Ciel said with voice faint and trembling, reaching out to grab the photo but he fell down hardly on the floor instead.

''It _hurts…._ It hurts...to _remember…_.'' He whispered and crawled towards the bedside table, tearful eyes staring on the family photo.

''I...I DON'T WANT TO _FORGET_ YOU!...But...it _hurts…_ '' More memories flashed, some gently like snowflakes while others pierced into his mind like a harsh blizzard. Ciel couldn't take it anymore, he let out a loud scream and his head dropped to the bedside table, overwhelmed by everything that has happened recently. All after that _cursed_ day.

" _Show me the right path….Guide me to the right decision….Help me survive this nightmare."_ The child kept repeating while eyes pierced into the sapphire, seeking support through all the Phantomhives who were in contact with the ring.

''No...this is a _fake_.'' He whispered out trough coughs, realising that he didn't even remember how exactly that _creature_ retrieved the ring. He could only remember how those bright crimson eyes stared into his own and then the ring was floating in front of him.

''This...this...is a _nightmare…._ a _lie!''_ With shaking feet Ciel suddenly stood up and opened the window, ring taken off and clenched in his hand.

''AWAY YOU _CURSED_ DEMON COPY!'' Ciel shouted loudly, voice trembling and cracking from all the crying. A hysterical laughter came out as he threw away that thing but then he realised something more horrible.

''This...this isn't _our_ Mansion anymore...it's _cursed_...All a _fake_...rebuild with _curses_ by that _creature.''_ The child shouted in panic and then once again dropped down to the floor, shaking so much it became hard to stand.

''I...I AM A _SHAME_...I REALLY AM...A _FAILURE EARL_..I AM A _FAKE_...JUST LIKE _THAT_ RING!'' Ciel closed his eyes and took deep breaths, opening up all the memories of warmth, feeling comortf...The memory of the sometimes scary and other times warm laughter of a rather close family friend suddenly appeared.

''Need...to..visit.. _Undertaker_..'' Ciel whispered and feeling exhausted he went into a deep slumber….Light of _hope_ still remaining inside, the child in need of _love_ and _care…_. _guidance…_

* * *

 **This is the unstable beginning were the seed of darkness grows while the light of hope remains. The child might try to simply erase all the pain and focus on revenge but the warmth he remembers is still standing strong, steering him away from the path of destruction….But for how long will all of this last when the child's guidance right now is destruction?**


End file.
